Tired today

Thursday, November 11th, 2021

Hi again,

I went to work again today. I had a nice time in the tutorials with the students, but today was pretty draining. Normally, there are four tutors but two were out today so it was just me and a colleague handling ~30 students per class. We had some help from a couple of students and another tutor from a different class, but today's work was still really hectic.

I walked over to my grandparent's house after work. I like spending time with them. I helped them put away hoses and a powerwasher for winter.

Sit nomine digna

Today is Veteran's Day in my country, where we remember all of the soldiers, sailors, and airmen who gave their lives in service to this country. I respect the people who go and join up with the military, but I can't bring myself to respect(?) my country. It's weird, there's a tension! I love my country, but I don't agree with how imperialist we are! There's an awful successor ideology supplanting the democratic liberalism that used to be the focus of our country, and if I were to join the military, I'd become a footsoldier for that hostile ideological system. If my state had a Self-Defence Force, I think I'd join -- alas, there's not one where I live.

Anxious? Bored? IDK, feelings suck

I've been feeling [(negative, depressed) ∨ (negative ∧ depressed)] recently, and I hate it. A lot of this has been from >tfw no gf, some of it has been from family problems, and some of it has been from work fatigue. My work's not hard or particularly stressful, I just want to do more. It's awful when one of your family members flies off the handle over vaccines and coronavirus autism. And I really shouldn't still be going >tfw no gf right now, I have every opportunity to just ask someone!

Bah, whatever. I'll get over this. These feelings come around when I feel like I'm not doing enough. When I'm doing things I like, those feelings are far from me.

Hymnography for today

St. Martin of Tours

In signs and in miracles you were renowned throughout Gaul. / By grace and adoption you are a light for the world, O Martin, blessed of God. / Almsgiving and compassion filled your life with their splendors, / teaching and wise counsel were your riches and treasures, / which you dispense freely to those who honor you.

Ss. Menas, Victor, and Vincent

Today the church honors those who fought the good fight and died for their faith: / The victorious Menas, the noble Victor and the ascetic Vincent. / The church glorifies their divine struggle and cries out with love: / Glory to You, O Christ, the lover of mankind.

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